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ive been asked to be a maid of honor in an oct wedding. the bride and i have known each other forever but...?

since shes been engaged shes turned into a complete bridezilla. she constantly complains when she doesnt get what she wants and will not talk about anything that doesnt involve her or her wedding. im getting married the following may, and weve always had an unspoken agreement that i would be her maid of honor and she would be mine. recently, she sent me a nasty email telling me how bad of a friend i was for hanging out with a good friend of mine who she doesnt like, then followed that up saying that she was sorry if i was mad, but that she meant what she said i shouldnt be mad at her anymore. i never said anything to her, figuring it would blow over. a few days ago she emailed me again to say that a friend of hers (that she doesnt like and talks sh*t about) from college wants to participate in the wedding and that i pretty much need to babysit and let her stay w/ me (ive never met her). i haven't seen her in months. i dont want to be in her wedding, or have her in mine. what to do?

First, you cannot make this girl your MOH if she is going to continue to act this way. I would come up with a reason why you are no longer asking her (e.g., "I know you just got married and didn't want you to have to pay for a new bridesmaid's dress, bridal shower for me, etc." or "I know you are too busy now getting settled into your new house/new life/whatever to bother with being my MOH.")

As for the friend she wants you to host, it's incredibly inconsiderate of her to offer your place. I would find another reason not to host her--you can say that you have family come in out of town, you want to dedicate all your time to her wedding so you won't be able to also cart someone around with you everywhere, or your place is just too small.

Normally, I would recommend honesty, but with someone like this who has a toxic personality (demonstrated by the emails she has written you) anything you say will be twisted around and make it seem like you are the wrong one. Better to come up with excuses that make you seem like you have her best interests at heart. She's so focused on herself right now anyway that she probably won't even notice!

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